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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24711295">Your soft hands that drag me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Priscilla4044/pseuds/Priscilla4044'>Priscilla4044</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Confessions, M/M, Possessive Sebastian, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash, Slow Romance, Teenage Ciel Phantomhive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 11:02:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,706</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24711295</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Priscilla4044/pseuds/Priscilla4044</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ciel slowly falls in love with his demon.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sebastian Michaelis/Ciel Phantomhive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Demon hostility</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello, here I leave my first Fanfic. This is the first chapter, I feel a little insecure to upload it without having others written but I have many ideas in my head and little time to write them.</p><p> I was watching anime for the fourth time and really wanted to write something. I think they have a lot of chemistry together.</p><p>Anyway, I don't know if someone is going to read it, but if you do I would like to read your opinion, correction or constructive criticism.</p><p>English is not my original language, correct me if I was wrong. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A curtain of rain bathed central London, leaving the colors behind and changing them to a misty cold gray.  Ciel stifled a sigh, his feet were freezing, and he could barely suppress looking around in disgust. He wanted to go home.</p><p>"Her name was Amelia Wickham" said the demon beside him to get his attention. "She was 21 years old, single, lived alone, had little family, few friends and a black cat"</p><p>That was too specific and not at all relevant so he decided to ignore it.</p><p>He look at the woman lying face down on the floor, her body had not withstood the impact, in fact, no human could survive falling from the top of a cathedral like that.</p><p>People and umbrellas had crowded around him and the police were trying to preserve the scene with difficulty. He vaguely notice how the rain blurred the blood across the floor like a watercolor painting would do on paper.</p><p>He did not like the comparison he had made, comparing something so beautiful with almost coagulated blood.</p><p>Ciel sighed more irritably when someone taller than him obstructed his field of vision.</p><p>"You should have listened to me when I told you that it was a bad idea to skip a nap, a child like you needs it after all," Sebastian said.</p><p>He was not irritated, he was furious now. He was already sixteen years old and Sebastian was still referring to him like a child.</p><p>Ciel didn't need to see his expression to know that he was laughing ar him, so he tried to balance the coolness of his voice.</p><p>"Shut up, bring the carriage. We are going home".</p><p> • ── • ─ • ── • ✦ • ── • ─ • ── •</p><p>Ciel leaned back on his desk and looked beyond the huge French window, the rain showed no signs of giving up, he felt abstracted by the drops of water running, connecting and snapping quickly on the glass. It made him feel so relaxed that he resisted the urge to surrender to sleep on the cold wood. He did not want Sebastián to find him in that condition, so he resumed his investigation.</p><p>To the Queen's shock, there was a notable rise in the suicide rate in London, like the woman this morning, like an epidemic and he had a duty to find out what was causing this phenomenon, for the Queen's peace of mind.</p><p>Ciel felt a chill when he remembered the woman, even though he would not say it out loud, he could not say that he was not impressed by what he just witnessed today.</p><p>He knew he would have nightmares.</p><p>He didn't want to wake the whole house up, he didn't want to lose control, and he didn't want Sebastian treats him like a child again.</p><p>Sebastian entered the room with the tea, the smell of the favorite Earl Gray awakened his senses. Something about him was relieved that there was someone else in the room now, even if that someone is a demon.</p><p> "Something interesting, bocchan?" Sebastian asked, as he served the tea.</p><p>Ciel was quite satisfied with what he had collected so far on his own. The relationship he had made with people who were in the obituary and the different factors such as age, sex, marital status, economic crisis, etc. Even if that information didn't get him anywhere yet, much less find the cause of the phenomenon or someone to attribute it to.</p><p> "I can see that" he paused to stop to assess if what was in Sebastian's gaze was interest, a fact that made his chest feel warm for a moment, "the people in question are no older than twenty five a no younger of sixteen. Same social class, geographic location, social context and marital status. Young people, with no criminal record, normal and apparently happy lives" He finish with a bit of nostalgia in his chest that, when he soon realized it, drove him away. </p><p> "I am impressed, young master," Sebastian said with a bow, which was clearly a compliment but Ciel omitted being flattered, he looked at Sebastian, trying to find out if he was making fun of him. He was no longer sure.</p><p>Sebastian sighed dramatically seconds later and said: "Suicide, a moral paradigm questioned since ancient Greece. Many civilizations considered it stoic, a way to redeem themselves, others as a morally wrong action. Either way, I find it a bit interesting how humans try to play with their free will, even with the choice of their own death"</p><p>Sebastian kept a smile on his face, more disturbing than friendly.</p><p>Ciel trembled a little and felt betrayed by his own reaction.</p><p>"I bet you've seen a lot of that in your long demon life." Ciel was grateful that his voice came out normal and continued with more confidence. "I think suicide is cowardly, not stoic, a not very effective way that weak humans use to try to escape their problems. Believing, very naively, that with death everything could be solved"</p><p>A smile spread across the demon's lips.</p><p>"However, some people find some courage in ending their own lives," Sebastian replied.</p><p>"I do not consider any courage in such action, I consider that it takes equal or more courage to face your own life," Ciel answered confidently, almost proud of his reflections.</p><p>Sebastian's eyes sparkled with enthusiasm and darkness. Ciel felt a chill run down his spine.</p><p> "I find it a bit hypocritical of you, bocchan," Sebastian declared with no intention of hiding his amusement. Ciel's confused expression was enough for him to continue. "You talk about the cowardice that suicide involves when you have done it yourself. Isn't suicide equivalent to putting your life in the hands of a demon? After all, I'm going to finish it, and you know it"</p><p>Ciel's entire body screamed that he slap cheeky demon. Sebastian was making fun of him.</p><p>A part that made him blush with shame wanted to ask Sebastian not to hurt him.</p><p>That part of him was crumbling, growing and irritating him more and more, but he tried to speak keeping his composure and said:</p><p>"Agreement," Ciel said slowly, "means that we come to an agreement where we would both get what we wanted from each other, it's called mutual benefit. For now your job is to benefit me, then my part will come, and still you dare to call it suicide”Ciel laughed and Sebastian's amusement changed slowly, replaced by hostility. "Stupid devil, you should already know that"</p><p>"Does it mean that you consider your actions an act of bravery?"</p><p>"It means that," he said, taking a sip of tea, "I just want to benefit selfishly. Call it whatever you want."</p><p>Later Sebastián announced that his bathroom was ready. There was no more conversation after that, no more musing and humiliation.</p><p> • ── • ─ • ── • ✦ • ── • ─ • ── •</p><p>Before sleeping Sebastian stood on the side of the bed, keeping the light for himself and his presence.  He also looked at him with serious interest that Ciel hadn't seen before.</p><p>Ciel wondered for a moment if Sebastian was concerned about his nightmares after what had happened today but he quickly divested himself of that thought.</p><p> "What are you doing standing there? Go away”he ordered.</p><p>The demon had a confused expression on his face, as if trying to solve Ciel like a complicated puzzle and finally debating whether to leave or stay.</p><p> "You're stupid? Go away!  That's an order"</p><p>Finally he left the room with a bow and a "Yes, bocchan."</p><p>In his room the rain was heard more torrential. Ciel sighed with satisfaction.</p><p>He wasn't worried about nightmares after all.</p><p>Sebastian, on the other hand, was damn proud of his food.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, I think I forgot to clarify some things :(</p><p>The agreement of Ciel and Sebastián is still not fulfilled, they continue solving cases three years later.  Ciel is sixteen years old and this case is made up by me.</p><p>comment and vote if you like it, I would appreciate it &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning the day was clear and sunny.  They went to London with the intention of corroborating certain doubts. The rumors were heard among the people upon arrival, another woman had died, apparently she had decided to end her life.</p><p>"Do you think this has something to do with demons?"Ciel asked.</p><p> "I do not perceive anything out of place here, it seems like the work of mortals."</p><p> Ciel watched thoughtfully.  He would have to check here if it was socioenvironmental factors or something else like a homicide pretending to be suicide.  He protested silently when he realized that they would definitely have to go see Undertaker at some point.</p><p>"Ciel!" a familiar voice interrupted his thoughts.</p><p>Ciel sighed tired, it wasn't like he didn't like Abberline, he considered him too kind and good to the point of being naive at times. Anyway, sooner or later Ihewould have to talk to him for information. Looking at Sebastian, he knew he thought the same.</p><p>"Abberline" Ciel greeting.</p><p>"Time without seeing us, Ciel," said the policeman with a huge smile that Ciel didn't know how to respond. He wouldn't let that distract him, he had to discover something concrete.</p><p>"We heard some rumors upon arrival" he tried.</p><p>"It is really tragic, very sad, I wish we could have done something to avoid it, but these things are usually unpredictable."</p><p>"Yes, suicide, it's quite dishonorable if you ask me. Will they bury her on the outskirts of the city?"</p><p>"Regrettably yes. We are also investigating, you know, there were more than thirty cases in a short time, it seems strange to me."</p><p>"For real?" Ciel said curious, Sebastian huffed amused earning an angry look from Ciel. "Maybe you can show us the scene and lend a hand."</p><p>Abberline felt uncomfortable, thought about the answer for a moment, and said:</p><p>"I don't think so, Ciel, Randall already catalog it, I don't think there is much to see now."</p><p>Randall, would never let them get close, that old man hated him, he couldn't stop persuading this naive now. Ciel thought.</p><p>"Still, we could investigate, Randall won't know, we won't compromise." Ciel looked at him innocently through his long lashes, he must have looked like a child who was denied something and didn't want to give up instead of a persuasive person, but it worked and Abberline led them to the place. Sebastian would make fun of him later, Ciel did not care.</p><p> </p><p>The place was a small house.</p><p>She was a young girl, her dull blond hair hovering over the wooden floor. Her small body was lying face down. Ciel looked away.</p><p>"He has a bottle of pesticide in his hand," Sebastian observed. "With permission." Sebastian walked over to inspect the body before Abberline could say anything.</p><p>Ciel around him observed the portraits, there were snails in the room, some freshly cut flowers and what looked like feminine accessories.</p><p>"I don't think they should touch anything," Abberline said, growing increasingly nervous.</p><p>Ciel snorted, he hated doing this like that, he would always have to stalk the police to get the information he needed. However, he would not join them, he did not like working with more people, in general he did not like people.</p><p>Sebastian and his eyes met, the demon had found something that he did not expect to share with Abberline.</p><p>"Don't worry, we're leaving now, thanks for letting us in," Ciel said leaving Abberline behind he with his mouth open.</p><p>It was getting dark outside, the atmosphere was cold.</p><p>"Did you find something interesting?"</p><p>"The woman's jacket was wet, her shoes were muddy. A little mud came down to her thighs too."</p><p>"Maybe he went out for a walk or something." he knew where this conclusion was going and it was just what they needed.</p><p>"No, the entrance and the floor had no mud anywhere, at least from his shoes."</p><p>
  <em>That was important, maybe ...</em>
</p><p>"Do you think someone loaded it and put it there this morning" Ciel said.</p><p>"I think it is possible," Sebastian reflected. "Oh, it's almost lunchtime." Sebastian announced, looking at his watch disinterestedly.</p><p>This was very relevant to the case, if it was something like induced suicide they would have to prove it and here was a clue.  Find out who was doing this and why it would be the main factor for the investigation.</p><p> • ── • ─ • ── • ✦ • ── • ─ • ── •</p><p>Ciel has too much on his mind, so he just looked at his food and moved it from one place to another without interest.</p><p><em>Why would someone want to kill people by making them look like suicide?</em> He wondered. Perhaps it had something to do with redemption, he had read something about it in some book.</p><p>Randall was useless enough to catalog it without investigating first, that old man could not see beyond his own nose.</p><p>"Bocchan" called Sebastian. For a moment, Ciel had forgotten that the demon was in the room. "Isn't the food to your liking?" he asked, he had a hint of interest in his eyes, Ciel observed.</p><p>"I'm not hungry, maybe I'll eat later." Ciel slowly got up from his chair and Sebastian looked at him in a strange way, if he didn't know him well he would say he was offended.</p><p>
  <em>Ridiculous demon.</em>
</p><p> • ── • ─ • ── • ✦ • ── • ─ • ── •</p><p>Today had been quite hectic, it was not in their plans to find another fateful death but now they had important information for the case.  He would have to report to the queen on what he had seen these past few weeks, Ciel thought in his study. The hours seemed to pass quickly because it was dark enough in the room.</p><p>The night had come. He could hear the owls through the curtains. Ciel had moments when his mind began to work, to remember things that he did not want, that appeared in his mind without his permission.  </p><p>He couldn't stop thinking about the young woman, her pale face lifeless. He had seen worse things and did not understand why it affected him so much now, he wanted to forget it.</p><p>Sebastián appeared at some point with tea and cookies that he had not asked for.</p><p>He finished his tea with difficulty but did not touch the cookies, he returned to his readings staying in the same paragraph from which he could not advance. The written words mixed with his thoughts and he didn't know which one to pay more attention to.</p><p>Absorbed in the book, he did not notice when Sebastián was standing next to him, he jumped when the demon took his face in his hands and looked at him closely.</p><p>Ciel gasped, he did not know what was happening, the time was not enough to process what Sebastián was doing, in the back of his mind he believed, perhaps for a second, that Sebastián was going to do something that he did not know he wanted until now.</p><p>Sebastian touched him gently on the cheeks through his white gloves and it was so warm. The demon's thumbs moved to her jaw, slowly guiding him upward.</p><p>A wave of confused emotions concentrated in his chest and stomach, something akin to emotion and anxiety. Sebastian's eyes were a little red, and he was so close.</p><p>Ciel closed his eyes and was silent, waiting.</p><p>"How strange." Sebastian finally said, then released him and walked away "your temperature is normal, you do not seem sick, so I have to assume that you do not like the food I am preparing for you"</p><p>Ciel's heart skipped a beat, he was deeply disappointed and scared when he realized what he had thought was actually going to happen.</p><p>His heart was beating so hard that he feared Sebastian might hear him. He opened his eyes, wishing that everything had been a strange dream but it was not.</p><p>"I ..." he started, but after a minute he didn't know what to say.</p><p>He looked down, his hands clasped on his pants. He wanted to cry now but he couldn't.</p><p>He didn't have to.</p><p>Ciel looked at Sebastian, without a trace of emotion on his face with the usual coldness in his gaze. It was a bit of a relief that apparently Sebastian hasn't heard everything that went through Ciel's head at the time.</p><p>"I told you, I'm not hungry."</p><p>He didn't expect it to sound like that but the way he said it made Sebastian narrow his eyes in silent contemplation</p><p>Ciel didn't know what to do, he wanted to escape, he was very embarrassed and for some reason he wanted to hit the stupid demon.</p><p>"Don't prepare my bath, I'm going to sleep" Ciel stood up and left the room.</p><p>He knew he sounded angry, but the truth was, he was furious with himself more than Sebastian.</p><p>He walked through the halls enjoying knowing he could escape to his room. How was he going to fix this now?</p><p>He closed his door behind him and sat down on the floor.  He couldn't think like that now, he couldn't consider Sebastian that way.</p><p>His heart felt painful, he still didn't understand it very well.</p><p>In what way did he see Sebastián?</p><p>Sometimes a teacher, someone who protects him, something like a father. Him chest began to feel warmer. He didn't know how to answer that and maybe he was giving him definitions worthy of a stupid boy with attachment problems.</p><p>Then he thought very embarrassed that he wanted Sebastian to kiss him.</p><p>That was something he was supposed to do one day with Elizabeth, not a butler but when he imagined himself kissing Elizabeth he felt disgusted and something must be wrong with him because when he imagined kissing Sebastián that turned into something comforting and soft.</p><p>He shook his head chasing those thoughts away, he was rambling</p><p>He was definitely confused.</p><p>No, he was scared and confused.</p><p> </p><p>He would have to ask someone about this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ciel is trying to find out.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For a moment, he simply looked at the dark clouds in the sky from his study, the wind whipping the trees out there.  It would probably rain again, he thought.</p><p>Two knocks on the door and Ciel exhaled turning his gaze back to the sound. He was wondering if he was doing the right thing with this.</p><p>"Go ahead" he said.</p><p>Finny entered cautiously, his guilty face visible from afar, probably wondering if he had done something wrong again.</p><p>"Bocchan, did you send me to call?" Finny asked, his posture stiff and both hands steady at his sides.</p><p>"Yes" Ciel was reconsidering all this for a moment and wondering if it was too late to back off, he could do it, but the uncertainty was killing him and he wanted to know what was wrong with his head. It was reason enough before deciding to call Finny, at least at the time. "Come closer" he ordered.</p><p>Finny hurried to stand in front of his desk, he seemed to be holding his breath.</p><p>"Finny, I have some personal questions to ask you. First I must warn you that this conversation will be sealed once you leave that door, as if we had never had it and I will also ask you to answer each question objectively and without omissions, do you understand me?" Ciel put his hands together on the desk, highlighting his point more.</p><p>Finny nodded quickly with wide eyes.</p><p>Ciel thought that maybe he had scared him, so he decided to leave behind his not-so-brilliant and very hasty idea of interrogation to proceed to have a trivial talk.</p><p>"Fine" Ciel leaned back in the back of his chair looking at him questioningly, "you.. have you ever wanted to kiss someone?"</p><p>Ciel realized how embarrassing he sounded after asking. It didn't sound that way in his head a few hours ago.</p><p>Finny flushed. <em>Oh great</em>. Ciel slowly massaged his temple, now he would never know anything and Finny had witnessed his embarrassing question. He thought until Finny started to speak.</p><p>"Oh yes, once" He said putting his hand to his neck and smiling.</p><p>Ciel finally exhaled. "And why did you want to kiss that person?"  </p><p>"Mm .. well, for many reasons" Finny blushed again and looked very interested in his shoes.</p><p>"Like what reasons?" Ciel asked, leaning over the desk, then returned to his posture so that Finny didn't feel pressured.</p><p>"Oh, emmh, I liked her face," he declared finally.</p><p>Ciel did not know what to think about it, that is, she had not thought about Sebastián's face if he was sincere, but now that he thought about it more, women admired Sebastián every time they went to a social gathering or simply walked the streets of London.</p><p>"Only for that?" Ciel asked a little disappointed.</p><p>"Not only for that" he said alarmed, "she smelled very good, she was very pretty, she was kind and friendly, and she was always good to me"</p><p>There was some nostalgia in Finny's gaze. That person must have been really special to him.</p><p>Well... Ciel didn't think that about Sebastian at all. He was a long way from considering him friendly and a little close to considering him attractive. He leaned on his hand, looking behind Finny thoughtfully. If before he was confused now he was more.</p><p>"Bocchan" Finny called pulling him out of his complicated gears, Ciel looked at him "Could it be that you are in love with someone?"</p><p>Ciel widened his eyes in surprise.</p><p>
  <em>  In love?</em>
</p><p>It wasn't something he had thought about, but that was actually very wrong.</p><p>In love as his father was in love with his mother? He wanted to ask, but did not. Something stirred in her stomach.</p><p>"It's Miss Elizabeth isn't it?" he exclaimed excitedly "oh our young master. I remember when you were such a small child, you have grown so much Bocchan"</p><p>Finny began to drown his tears of happiness and Ciel was in shock.</p><p>"Shut up, none of that, I was just curious" Ciel said defensively but it was too late, Finny was now jumping with excitement and believed that all this conversation revolved around Elizabeth.</p><p>Ciel considered it well and it was definitely better for him to think that, after all that was logical since she was her fiancée, fiancée who planned to evade in the future.</p><p> Ciel sighed wearily. This had been useless.</p><p> • ── • ─ • ── • ✦ • ── • ─ • ── •</p><p>Later a message from Abberline had arrived at the mansion, saying that they requested their collaboration since there was another case but this time with something peculiar and highly relevant.</p><p>The drizzle had started smoothly, bathing London leaving the pavement wet and slippery.</p><p>This completely changed things and reaffirmed his suspicions. A young man had died, he had been found with a bottle of pesticide in hand. But there was a witness now who would have to be questioned.</p><p>Once the hiccup sobs faded, Ciel sighed and leaned back in his chair. Then she was his lover, a devastated young woman, she had started crying as soon as she started talking, Ciel had to wait patiently.</p><p>He tried not to look too closely at the clock hanging on the wall.</p><p>She was a young and elegant woman, her haughtiness was very well reflected with the extravagant accessories she had in her house. Ciel had never seen such bad taste.</p><p>Sebastian offered her a handkerchief and she accepted, then she noticed Sebastian and looked at him with interest.</p><p><em>Wasn't she crying for her boyfriend?</em> He thought indignantly.</p><p>He rolled his eyes wearily, not caring that the woman in front of him noticed, he wanted to leave.</p><p>Finally after a long unbearable time he decided to speak.</p><p>"Madam..."</p><p>"Mary," she said, hiding her dismay.</p><p>"Good, Mary" Ciel did not want to tutela but continued still that a little displeased "I am earl Phantomhive. I will begin to ask you some questions, take your time to answer" He said as kindly as he could.</p><p>She nodded, wiping away the tears with Sebastian's handkerchief.</p><p>"Tell me about..." he paused and looked at the report quickly "James. How long have you known him?"</p><p>Ciel looked at her closely, and she looked like she was going to break again but in the end she didn't for Ciel's fortune.</p><p>"I have known them for quite some time but a few months ago we decided to start a relationship." Her voice sounded like it was going to break at any moment. "You see, he had no reason to do what he did, he was a very happy, he was studying and working at the same time, he was thinking a lot about his future, he was very hard working." She paused to stifle her bitter tears.</p><p>"Sometimes people seem fine and happy but hide a deep depression, it is not easy to notice."</p><p>"No, it's not like that." she looked at Ciel with puffy eyes "There is something else."</p><p>"Did you see something?" Ciel asked.</p><p>"Not exactly but he told me a few days ago that sometimes he felt that he was being followed"</p><p>"Did he have any idea who that person was?"</p><p>"No, it was just an assumption, he told me that one day he came home and the door was open and also that sometimes his things were changed places"</p><p>It sounded like a sick stalker, Ciel thought.</p><p>"Oh my James, he was so good, he wasn't one of those sad people. In fact once… ”</p><p>Ciel nodded thoughtfully. His eyes strayed to Sebastian, the demon was looking at the woman with interest.</p><p>Ciel was not listening to her very well now, he noticed that Sebastian's hair was somewhat long, since there was a little behind his ears and a little behind his face. He wondered how he managed to cut his hair on his own, he could never do something like that.</p><p>"... And then there is absolutely no point in James taking his own life!" She exclaimed, Ciel turned his attention to her. "I think this has something to do with the person who was following him, I can't find another explanation."</p><p>Ciel let him know he understood her with a nod. That was all apparently. Ciel rose from his chair "Thank you for collaborating with us, we will let you know soon if there are any news."</p><p>He left the house and Sebastián followed him, a cold breeze made him shiver. A frost had fallen and the streets were covered in dew.</p><p>"We are closer to the culprit" Ciel reflected "But there is something strange here" he said, turning to look at Sebastián and continue with his idea.</p><p>Ciel shuddered, Sebastian looked at him deeply with darkness and something else in his gaze.</p><p>He had completely forgotten what he was going to say and just stood there, motionless, not knowing what to do, his mind blank and observing Sebastian's perfect and symmetrical features, his smooth, white skin in the moonlight.  Now he understood, maybe a little, because women found him attractive.</p><p>His heart began to beat in anticipation.</p><p>Another cold blast made him flinch, pulling him a little out of his state.</p><p>Sebastian approached him and passed his coat over his shoulders.</p><p>"We would not benefit if you got sick at this point in the investigation, as you said, we are close." He said with a smile as he chased away the wrinkles in the fabric with a pat on his shoulders.</p><p>Ciel felt drunk at the closeness. He vaguely noticed how he no longer had to raise his head to look at Sebastian, he remembered Finny's words from that morning, about how he had grown, he realized that he had grown a little or perhaps he imagined it.</p><p>He had been too busy to notice it and too accelerated to care. Everything else was so shallow and unimportant now, he was just feeling the present through butterfly feelings in his stomach, it was nice, very nice. He felt something like happiness in his chest.</p><p>He couldn't think very well but forced himself to.</p><p>"Bring the carriage, let's go home" he ordered, coming back to reality, his voice came out too soft but Sebastian didn't seem to notice it and if he did he didn't show it.</p><p>When Sebastian walked away and his senses returned to him, Ciel thought he was terribly screwed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi! I hope you are having a good day wherever you are and I hope you like this chapter.</p><p>Ciel and Sebastián will have more field work soon.</p><p>Tell me what you think &lt;3</p><p>Do you think Sebastián has a slight suspicion about Ciel's feelings?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ciel was restless.</p><p>It was as if the sunrise took longer than normal. Ciel had been thinking too much, moving between the sheets, staring at the ceiling, and sometime in the night trying to read an Edgar Poe book to no avail.</p><p>His body felt energetic and his mind was racing.</p><p>He had acted impulsively the night before. However, it was not something he had foreseen and premeditated, it was like an emotion that grew more and more each day until he was left without the ability to respond to everything related to Sebastián.</p><p>It was very confusing and that made him feel very angry.</p><p>He had always been able to control his emotions. He could act under pressure against unforeseen factors and emerge unscathed. He couldn't allow the emotions he had always despised to control him.</p><p>Everything he had worked for, his condition and his home, a mistake and would have everything against him. Even so he was always perfect in everything he did.</p><p>No matter how many books he has read, He was definitely experiencing something akin to love or some sort of sick attachment. Something he wanted to end. It was very strange</p><p>But if he thought about it in another way, it was a distraction, he had already overcome many obstacles, he had always done it alone, he could do it again even though now the difficulty is in his mind. He would control himself, he thought, whatever that painful feeling in his chest was.</p><p>A small light filtered through the thick curtains. It was going to be a long day, he thought before hearing Sebastian knocking on the door with his breakfast. His heart had already started beating in his chest. Ciel sighed, remembering his own words.</p><p>He had controlled it before, he could do it now.</p><p> • ── • ─ • ── • ✦ • ── • ─ • ── •</p><p>Clues, he had to follow the clues, he thought in the middle of his history class.</p><p>It was difficult since the police took care of it and would not let him get close. He would have to find a way.</p><p>Hopefully he could talk to Abberline and he would help him access the scenes of the possible crime or do it the conventional way, he wondered if this was the time to make use of his butler and remove some pieces from his path.</p><p>Ciel was suddenly in a good mood or so until Sebastian snatched his notebook from his hands.</p><p>"I see you have a problem with the dates of important events" Sebastian said as he looked at his sheet disapprovingly "I recommend writing in chronological order, it will be easier to memorize"</p><p>Ciel growled, he hated it when the damned demon corrected his homework but he was so tired that rage never reached his words.</p><p>"Sorry," he muttered. <em>Did he just apologize?</em> He thought seconds later. He sounded too soft and calm because Sebastian looked at him with evident confusion.</p><p>The familiar sensation in his chest was present. He recognized it, apparently his body reacted like this when he received Sebastian's desired attention, it was something pleasant but at the same time terrifying.</p><p>Ciel grimaced and looked at his book, with his unfocused gaze his mind went to the beginning of all this, he had actually admired Sebastián at the beginning, when he was small and weak, Sebastián had been his only support, he had committed the mistake of considering him a friend long ago since he always interacted to bring out the worst in Ciel disobeying and being smug all the time.</p><p>The feelings of affection had been buried along with his childhood innocence long ago with the death of his parents but without him realizing it, he was in this situation now. Perhaps he was looking for some affection, It was something Sebastian was clearly not going to give him, however, sometimes he liked to imagine that the demon looked at him with a little affection.</p><p>Were occasions like when he appeared at court at a young age, with his trembling legs and pounding heart, Sebastian smiled at him from a distance in the courtroom, his heart had been crushed, he was enough so that Ciel could make his presentation in front of all those persons.</p><p>Little things like when Sebastian ruthlessly killed anyone who came across to insult his physical or emotional integrity or worried about learning his favorite recipes for tea afternoons. Perhaps this had been going on for quite some time but he refused to acknowledge it.</p><p>Time passed, the attempt to concentrate, succeeding at times. The class was extremely boring today, his lack of sleep and thoughts about Sebastian didn't help.</p><p>Sebastian left the room and Ciel leaned back comfortably on his study table, at least he would rest his eyes for a few minutes.</p><p>Ciel did not fall asleep and heard the demon close the door behind him, his footsteps stopped at the door, Ciel imagined how indignant Sebastian was to find him asleep in his sacred class, that encouraged him to continue pretending for his own amusement. The footsteps were heard moving in his direction, Ciel awaited a call for attention or Sebastian with a rule to punish him. Nothing like that happened, and after an unbearable minute Ciel left all trace of amusement.</p><p>He wondered if Sebastian was going to let him continue sleeping after all, it was strange considering how rigorous and demanding he got when he took his teaching role.</p><p>Ciel felt movement in the strands of his hair, then Sebastian's bare hand was on his forehead and remained there. He must have looked awful at the time so Sebastian would think he was sick.</p><p>He could wake up now and push him away considering how fast his heart was pounding but he didn't.</p><p>Sebastian took his touch away and he almost murmured in protest. Ciel wanted more contact. He didn't know what thought was but he felt strangely moved. </p><p>Ciel slowly opened his eyes, pretending to wake up, perhaps very badly. Sebastian looked at him coldly, made Ciel want to close his eyes again and imagine that the soft touches matched his expression.</p><p>"M-my head hurts a little" was the only thing that came out of his mouth at that moment, he hadn't noticed the painful lump in his throat.</p><p>"Is that so?" Sebastian said, Ciel nodded, he looked like a boy but he had already lowered his defenses and couldn't think very well.</p><p>Sebastian put a hand to Ciel's forehead. It was so simple, but Ciel noticed how the strands of his hair were gently pushed aside and then Sebastian's warm hand was caressing it.</p><p>Ciel closed his eyes, shamelessly enjoying the touch. Oh God, he was dead.</p><p>"You have a little temperature" <em>Did he have it?</em> Ciel wondered vaguely. "How troublesome" Sebastian walked away and sighed. "You can do your homework from your bed the same way"</p><p>Ciel opened his eyes resigned.</p><p>"And you urgently need a haircut, I'll deal with that later"</p><p>Ciel was aware of her hair, but wanted to let it grow. What was wrong with his hair like that?</p><p>"You need it too," he said without thinking. Sebastian raised an eyebrow slightly offended but also interested and Ciel would have found it amusing but remembered being cautious.</p><p>"Ouch, my head" he complained with a hand on his temple deftly deflecting the subject.</p><p>"Go to your room and wait for me there," Sebastian said after sighing.</p><p><em>That sounds promising</em>, said a voice in his head that embarrassed him after an instant.</p><p> • ── • ─ • ── • ✦ • ── • ─ • ── •</p><p>Sebastian tried to give a quick deduction to everything that had happened previously.</p><p>Ciel often had a crimson color on his cheeks, something he should perhaps send him to a doctor for.</p><p>But there was something that he understood and it was that Ciel was an unpredictable human, he could not know very well what he was thinking or his way of proceeding unlike other humans and that was what made the young man so interesting and intriguing.</p><p>He had a slight feeling that there was something beyond his knowledge regarding the boy's attitudes but he couldn't quite say what it was. In reality Ciel had changed a lot, had grown physically but behaved differently too, it was a point to consider in humans in the short stages of life. But Ciel was not a normal teenager, so that was what made it so difficult.</p><p>Sebastian was about to enter the kitchen until the loud voice of Mey-rin reached his ears.</p><p>"And what else did the young master Finny tell you?"</p><p>"I shouldn't be telling you guys, he told me not to say it" Finny cried.</p><p>"But we want to know and you already told us a bit, is the young master really so in love?"</p><p>Sebastian waited at the door and listened carefully.</p><p>"Mey-rin, don't blatantly talk about the young master" Bard shouted as he cut some carrots disastrously.</p><p>"But it's so romantic, the Miss Elizabeth and Master Ciel, it's like those romance novels, so cool" Mey-rin gave a long sigh.</p><p>"I won't tell you anything! Leave me alone! Or he will kill me" Finny cried out in pain.</p><p>"It's not something he should be ashamed of, you know? That happens a lot at that age. We all go through puberty, it was a damn pimple on my ass. I'm glad I passed it" Bard said wisely to what Mey-rin and Finny they muttered grief-stricken in response.</p><p>Interesting, Sebastian thought.</p><p>When entering the kitchen an uncomfortable silence settled in the place.</p><p>Finny and Mey-rin quickly returned to their tasks.</p><p>Sebastián looked for the cold water and the rags to lower the fever while he reflected a little. So bocchan was going through an important stage, he could investigate about it, maybe he would understand many things.</p><p>"Bard" He said turning to him with a smile that made the cook's hair stand on end "tell me about puberty"</p><p> • ── • ─ • ── • ✦ • ── • ─ • ── •</p><p>This time Ciel arrived before the police.</p><p>He was another man, quite old. Sebastian had found him following people's rumors, he was a teacher and apparently nobody had seen him for quite some time.</p><p>"Let's inspect everything carefully Sebastian" Ciel ordered with determination.</p><p>"Yes Bocchan"</p><p>The man lived in a rental house, it was quite clean and tidy, he had a nice little library in one room. He walked through the place until he reached the man's room, a small but equally ordered place. The man was sitting on a single sofa. He had his head thrown back and his arms hung heavy at his sides.</p><p>Ciel ignored that feeling of fear and continued to inspect. The body seemed to have time. The bed was made, he had never gone to bed. Ciel moved until he had a better angle and saw the light table, there was writing ink, an ashtray, and a folded sheet of paper.</p><p>His interest focused on the sheet and the content. Sebastian's footsteps were heard as he read the following note:</p><p>
  <em>"Certain circumstances of my life have overcome me to succumb to deep sadness and without rest, that's why I have decided to rest eternally because I am miserable."</em>
</p><p>Ciel noticed a pesticide bottle thrown a few meters from the corpse.</p><p>Sebastian appeared at that moment, both looked at each other for a moment. The demon seemed surprised, surely he thought that Ciel could not bear to see something like this for too long.</p><p>"Look" Ciel handed him the letter "I don't believe it, something happened here." Ciel informed him.</p><p>Sebastian smirked.</p><p>As they left the scene, the police soon arrived. Probably the woman they had seen before on the street had reported them when she saw them break down the door.</p><p>Ciel smirked when he saw Randall red with fury walking towards him.</p><p>"You!" Randall yelled. Abberline got out of the carriage after Randall.</p><p>"Mr. Randall" greeted Ciel.</p><p>"What is your intention here? I warned you thousands of times not to come near." The officer spat into his face as Ciel smiled ambiguously as he pulled a letter from the queen out of his pocket.</p><p>"Read this, maybe you will change your mind"</p><p>Randall did not take long to notice the Royal seal, it was an order of his majesty, that meant that Ciel could put his nose where he wanted from now on.</p><p>Randall protested "Queen's miserable dog, you may seem like an intelligent and innocent child, but I don't believe you. You and your butler are not normal. Even if you have that piece of paper I will not allow you to interfere in our affairs."</p><p>"What is it, are you afraid I will solve another case because of your incompetence?" Ciel scoffed.</p><p>"LISTEN WELL-"</p><p>Ciel couldn't take it anymore, he took Randall by the lapels of his coat and proved his point with the force that he kept on him.</p><p>"No, you listen well, from now on I am going to work my way or I will personally take you out of the way"</p><p>"Are you threatening me?" Randall was red, it could not be said whether from shame or anger but Ciel was satisfied.</p><p>"It looks like you're deaf too" Ciel released him and Randall fell onto his butt on the pavement.</p><p>He seriously considered kicking him for all those years of being a nuisance in his job as the Queen's watchdog but stopped when he heard people muttering.</p><p>"Ciel" He called Abberline, as surprised as if he had never imagined that Ciel could become angry like that.</p><p>He noticed how there were several people watching, from simple onlookers to police officers. When he returned to his senses he began to feel somewhat intimidated by the looks.</p><p>He was terribly angry at the ups and downs of his emotions. He allowed himself to be dominated by them again, although he hardly regretted having thrown Randall like that, he should have done it a long time ago but now he had a little more strength.</p><p>He turned to Sebastian and, unsurprisingly, Sebastian was looking at him extremely amused, perhaps with some mockery, but the demon also considered Randall a despicable being.</p><p>He felt pretty rough, he had never tried to knock someone down with his own strength even if he was Randall's stupid old man, he thought.</p><p>Sebastian smiled approvingly at him, and Ciel had to control his beating heart. The world was silent for a moment and only Sebastian could see.</p><p>"You will pay for this!" Randall yelled behind him, turning off the magic.</p><p>"Go to hell" Ciel spat irritably.</p><p>Ciel sighed, there were several looks of disgust around him soon. Without context he looked like a young man assaulting a fat old man.</p><p>Sebastian noticed it.</p><p>"It's time to go" He said, taking him by the shoulder.</p><p>Ciel agreed.</p><p>They both headed for the carriage, once inside and on the move, Ciel watched the landscape disappear out the window.</p><p>"Go to hell?"</p><p>Ciel turned, a laugh came out of Sebastian's mouth. Ciel looked at him in surprise. <em>Did Sebastian laugh?</em> Actually he had heard Sebastian laugh before, especially to make fun of him. But this was very genuine.</p><p>Ciel omitted feeling embarrassed, his chest felt warm and a feeling of happiness settled in him. Then Ciel's entire body demanded that he smile and he did.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Suddenly the darkness succumbed to him and he was in a dead end. The feelings of nostalgia and abandonment sprout without permission in his chest.</p><p>He could call Sebastian and make he'd paint walls with their guts as a warning to anyone else who thought they might beat him.</p><p>A dark figure pounced on him, all he had left was to shout Sebastian's name but the shadow dissolved, he didn't have to call or defend himself. Sebastian was there the whole time, he was protecting him.</p><p>Ciel approached the demon, close enough to feel its characteristic scent, its warmth and protection. Sebastian's hand was on Ciel's head, stroking him lovingly. The touches are constant and rhythmic, everything around him became superficial, the shadows were gone and Ciel enjoyed it.</p><p>After a moment the caresses were more compulsive. He gasped as Sebastian suddenly tugged at his hair painfully, guiding his gaze upward.</p><p>A disturbing look settled on Sebastian's eyes, the atmosphere had changed, the air was heavy and tense. It was difficult to breathe. A smile formed on the demon's lips and he slowly ran his fingers over Ciel's lips, was he going to kiss him? Ciel had many mixed emotions. </p><p>His heart was about to explode and his body trembled. Sebastian approached slowly and the boy waited, but nothing happened. The shadows around them began to appear, something that said that this time Sebastian was not going to do anything to stop their.</p><p>"You disappoint me"</p><p>All peace was replaced by terror upon hearing the demon's words. </p><p>Sebastian held him abruptly, he considered him unworthy now, Ciel knew that this would happen but he wanted to be indifferent. He wanted Sebastian to know about his feelings but the betrayed boy's eyes were not going to move a cold, empty demon.</p><p>Everything was black, something fell on him and his body was absorbed. His skin was ripped off and his throat was ripped. He was going to die this way, in pain and alone... No, said a reasonable voice in his head. Sebastian would not be able to break the contract for this, he was not like this, this did not make any sense.</p><p>"Bocchan" he heard in the dark.</p><p>Tears of pain ran down his face as his soul was absorbed, this was not true, it was a nightmare.</p><p>"Bocchan, wake up."</p><p>There was a hand on his shoulder. Ciel woke up in his room, panting and tangled in his sheets.</p><p>He stood up panting painfully as he reaffirmed in reality. His eyes scanned the place. Was this his room? No, he and Sebastian were at the London house, he remembered.</p><p>His hand traveled without thinking to his throat and then to his arms, everything was in order, it had been a nightmare.</p><p>Sebastian was on the side of the bed watching him curiously, lately Sebastian had that expression on his face, he thought as he regulated his heart rate.</p><p>Ciel couldn't help but think about what he had dreamed of. <em>Would Sebastian kill him?</em> Even though a part of him said that he would not do it since the contract ended once the revenge was fulfilled and another part of him said that he did not deny the possibility of doubt.</p><p>"It's been a while since the nightmares" Sebastian finally said, pulling Ciel a little out of his disturbed state. "And of course the novels you read before sleeping don't help you" Sebastián noted the horror books that Ciel kept under his pillow with disapproval.</p><p>"Is not that!" Ciel yelled.</p><p>Sebastian watched him without an obvious expression on his face.</p><p>"You're wet with sweat" He said as he leaned his hand to measure the temperature but Ciel scared away until he hit the back of the bed. Ciel was shaking and didn't even know what he was doing.</p><p>Sebastian looked at him in surprise but walked away after a moment without giving it importance. Ciel sighed in relief.</p><p>Ciel noticed his soggy shirt and wet hair. He felt disgusted and sore.</p><p>"The sun will rise in a few hours, I will prepare a bath for you" he said and left the room.</p><p>Ciel collapsed at that moment. Carriages could be heard passing on the street. Clarity loomed in the sky. The noise of Sebastián was heard pouring the water in the bathtub and the sparkling fireplace.</p><p>He had to stop this.</p><p>...</p><p>His suspicions grew with Ciel's demonstration that morning, Sebastián reflected without getting anywhere.</p><p>He would have to solve it since Ciel did not give his maximum performance during the day, fell asleep at the end of his classes, was very irritable or on the contrary, he was more docile than he normally was. It was also important that Ciel's attention be focused on solving the case.</p><p>He had spoken to Bard, puberty sounded difficult to define. According to the cook, it was not easy for those who suffered from it. He could conclude that it was a stage of change, both physical and emotional, but he was obviously going to read a book about it.</p><p>The weather felt colder than normal, they would have to go later to do an interview with the man's relatives. This was the time of year when Ciel suffered most from his asthma, Sebastián selected warm clothes as well.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Ciel leaned back in the tub, the water was lukewarm for the time he had been slow to untie all the complicated knots in his clothes. This was Sebastian's job before, Ciel was embarrassed when Sebastian undressed him so he preferred to do it himself.</p><p>He ran the soap over his arms, observing how pale it was, he could see in his hands the blue veins, product of the cold. He would have to go out to sunbathe when the warm days come, he considered.</p><p>"Sebastian" he called, he had agreed that Sebastian would help him wash his back only.</p><p>Sebastián entered, Ciel observed that he was wearing the white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, he looked so strange and so...</p><p>No, by no means, did he have the promise he had made this morning, no matter how good Sebastian looked in casual clothes. He scolded himself again, he didn't have to think about it either.</p><p>"Lean over," Sebastian said.</p><p>Sebastian began to moved the sponge down his back, it was what he always did but Ciel did not understand why he felt so tense now.</p><p>Sebastian ran the sponge again but this time his fingers brushed Ciel's skin. Ciel gasped. <em>Was the damned demon doing it on purpose?</em></p><p>Ciel sighed deeply and thought of horrible things, but ended up imagining disturbing things. Well, it wasn't working, he had to hold his breath until Sebastian was done.</p><p>"Bocchan, is the water too cold? Your ears are red"</p><p>Ciel did not know what to do or what to say, he had to be careful.</p><p>"It's a little cold but it doesn't matter."</p><p>Ciel played around with the water a little, he felt so pathetic and vulnerable like that. But at the same time he was happy that Sebastián was with him, even if it was in the bathroom.</p><p>There were few things that he enjoyed in his daily life, and in all of them was Sebastián, such as horseback riding, hunting or the Latin classes, in all these activities Sebastián was supervising him. Even the ones he disliked, like social gatherings.</p><p>It was incredible to feel something like this, he did not know how to define whether it was good or bad, probably bad, but if it was incredible, he had never imagined that someday he would love someone. He saw these things from afar, he had only read it in his few romantic books.</p><p>Still, if Sebastian knew ... what would happen? he thought longingly.</p><p>"Sebastian, how will it be?" Ciel had always been curious about it but had never mentioned it before.</p><p>"Be more specific, Bocchan" Sebastián threw a cup of hot water on his back to remove the soap residue.</p><p>"How it will be?" Ciel felt a lump in his throat "the moment after the contract is fulfilled?"</p><p>Sebastián stayed behind him, despite having finished his work. Ciel felt Sebastian's eyes glaring at him.</p><p>"After the contract is fulfilled it behooves me to take your soul." Sebastian's voice came out darker than normal. Ciel wasn't going to let that intimidate him.</p><p>"Is it going to hurt?"</p><p>"Are you worried that it hurts?" Sebastian said with a little mocking tone.</p><p>Ciel did not respond and after an unbearable moment Sebastian replied uniformly.</p><p>"I will try not to hurt you"</p><p>A warm sensation settled in his chest with Sebastián's words, however, Ciel thought for a moment about his parents, his aunt, his dog and each person he had seen die throughout his life, they had a painful death and he was going to have the same.</p><p>"No, I want it to hurt, pain helps me remember, that's why I live."</p><p>He had an obligation to feel pain, for his family, for everything he had ever wanted.</p><p>Ciel realized how all those emotions, of affection and longing for Sebastián disappeared, in his heart there was only room for hatred, even though after a moment he would forget it and feel love for Sebastian again.</p><p>"Yes, my lord" Sebastian purred. Ciel didn't need to see him to know that there would only be hunger in his gaze.</p><p>"Aren't you bored of serving me?" Ciel asked. Sebastian looked at him confused as he prepared a towel and opened it for Ciel. "Why haven't you taken my Soul? Years have passed after all."</p><p>Sebastian examined Ciel as he rose from the tub, his skin was White and smooth, his body weak and his delicate face left behind the childish features He could break this child effortlessly but he was not like other demons, just as this child was not like other humans.</p><p>"Not yet." Sebastian casually passed the towel over Ciel's shoulders "I will keep my word, as we agreed from the beginning, nothing will change that."</p><p>"Don't ever betray me Sebastian." Ciel quickly covered himself. "You are the only thing I have left." He declared.</p><p>Ciel knew that this display of feelings was disgusting for Sebastian, he did not care, he was not afraid to speak his mind now.</p><p>"Never." The demon replied.</p><p>Ciel did not expect Sebastián to offer to dry it, since he was tired he allowed it, he was not shy this time.</p><p>...</p><p><br/>The woman did not cry despite being the man's sister, the closest remaining relative according to what they had investigated. She had an alibi, they couldn't suspect her.</p><p>Ciel took a sip of tea while trying not to grimace. He preferred the tea in his house but he supposed it would be rude to refuse it.</p><p>"Did you notice anything strange about your brother before this unfortunate event?" He started.</p><p>The woman seemed calm, she was somewhat older. She took her time to respond.</p><p>"Nothing I will notice even though he was always a reserved man," she said.</p><p>"We have information that we must bring to your attention. These are three previous deaths that are intrinsically related to your brother's death."</p><p>The woman was silent, looking at Sebastián and Ciel incredulously.</p><p>"Does that mean they think my brother was killed?"</p><p>"We believe that it is someone who deliberately kills and after committing the murder disguises them as suicide."</p><p>"So we need him to tell us what he knows, if he's aware of his relationships, someone close to him that no one else knows about or where he frequented."</p><p>"Aren't you young to do this? Where are the real officers?" The woman said more and more nervous.</p><p>Ciel didn't know what to say, he was familiar with that comment, a fact that made him blush.</p><p>"I can tell you, miss," Sebastian interjected, "that my young master, Earl Phantomhive, is fully trained and gifted for his task despite his young age." Sebastian put a hand to his chest "the innumerable cases he has solved are the proof" He said with a smile. </p><p>Ciel felt something warm pouring from his chest once more, this was not the time, he told himself.<br/>It was strange because Sebastian was always looking for a way to embarrass him but he didn't let anyone else do it.</p><p>The woman looked more relaxed, a little embarrassed by his reaction but it was understandable. "I am very sorry, it is a lot of information." He said as he played with his hands.</p><p>The woman's attention focused on Ciel after a moment. "Regarding before, he told me several times about a place he frequented. He had come there from other colleagues at the institute where he taught, they met for drinks and met extravagant people It's what I know. "</p><p>"Do you remember the name of that place?"</p><p>She seemed to strain to remember "Oh, I forgot a pack of matches from that place, excuse me for a moment" she quickly got up to look, Ciel turned to Sebastian who was standing behind him.</p><p>"A secret society?" Ciel asked.</p><p>"It seems to speak of a simple meeting place." Sebastian replied.</p><p>Ciel muttered thoughtfully.</p><p>It could be something relevant, the man much of the day was teaching and another studying at home, his circle of acquaintances was limited to colleagues and friends of the same profession. This seemed to get him a little out of that routine.</p><p>The woman appeared minutes later "I found it in the coat that he forgot, look at the label."</p><p>"Pembroke House" Ciel read.</p><p>...</p><p><br/>Extravagant was little to define a place like this. The elegant people, the expensive food, wine and the aesthetics of the lounge, everything was amazing.</p><p>There was background music, it felt pretty good and calm. Ciel sat next to Sebastián at a bar table to people watch.</p><p>"I find it strange that this man frequents this place so much, all these people are not of his social class." Ciel said.</p><p>Sebastian was about to say something until a barman interrupted him to ask for his order. Ciel was surprised when he saw that the man was also addressing him, he had never drunk alcohol, did he have to order something? It would be suspicious if they didn't take anything and were dedicated to looking at people. Ciel looked at Sebastian searching the answer in his eyes.</p><p>To Ciel's relief, Sebastian had quickly ordered something for the two of them.</p><p>"You don't have to drink it." Sebastian said.</p><p>He was more relieved after hearing that but was replaced by the unnecessary phrase Sebastian added. "Children shouldn't take that kind of thing."</p><p>"Stop being so annoying with that! I am not a child."</p><p>"Oh?" Sebastian was teasing him.</p><p>he was not disappointed in his height and his father was a tall person, he was hopeful.</p><p>"I'm going to take it. It will look bad if I don't do it anyway."</p><p>Sebastian had no intention of hiding his funny face, which made Ciel even more angry.</p><p>When the man served the drinks Sebastián settled in his seat to watch Ciel as an entertaining spectacle, Ciel was not going to give it to him so he brought the glass to his mouth, the smell was not promising, he thought, perhaps the taste is different . The liquid seeped into his mouth leaving his tongue bitter. He tried not to grimace when he felt the burning down his throat. Why did people like this?</p><p>"And good?" Sebastian asked with a big smile, suddenly Ciel had the abnormal need to see blood in that mouth.</p><p>Ciel left behind what he was thinking of saying, although the taste was still unbearable on his palate, what he was seeing was really interesting. Sebastian turned in the direction he was looking too.</p><p>"It's that woman" The girl who cried a week ago for the loss of her boyfriend had entered the place casually. "Mary" Ciel recalled with a load of disgust.</p><p>She was dressed in a rather flamboyant dress and a radiant face.</p><p>It was a confusing picture so they watched her discreetly. The girl went directly to a table, there was a young man who received her kindly and pushed her seat away.</p><p>"It seems she is no longer mourning her boyfriend." Sebastián said "A beautiful woman, of bad birth but who does a good imitation, how interesting."</p><p>Ciel couldn't help but feel uneasy about that first observation. He now glared at the woman trying to find what part of her led Sebastian to consider her beautiful.</p><p>After a few minutes, in which Ciel spent most of the time ignoring Sebastian and relentlessly watching the woman, finally she and the man grabbed their coats and headed for the exit.</p><p>"Where are they going?" Ciel asked himself.</p><p>"How naive of you, bocchan." Said the demon whose presence Ciel had so far ignored.</p><p>Oh, they were going to ... that. Ciel felt his face heat up a little. Sure, you could see from a distance that she was an easy one, he thought with a clouded judgment of resentment.</p><p>After a moment, Ciel began to feel that feeling of dizziness gradually sharpen. He leaned against the bar when he thought he was going to fall.</p><p>"Bocchan do you feel good?" He listened. Sebastian's face was blurred but Ciel could see the obvious concern on his face. His head started to hurt a little when he tried to focus his eyes.</p><p>"We're going home?" He asked.</p><p>Sebastian put his coat on and they started walking.<br/>It wasn't that bad, he could still be rational. Even though Sebastian would never let him try a drop of alcohol again.</p><p>When they were about to reach the carriage, he felt that his feet could not coordinate well and Sebastián, realizing it, allowed Ciel to lean on him.</p><p>Your alcohol tolerance is very low, bocchan"</p><p>"Mmmh," Ciel murmured in response.</p><p>The stones of the street stood out and Ciel almost stumbled, he managed to cling to Sebastián, Sebastián had no objection to resting for a moment. Ciel closed his eyes, inhaling Sebastian's scent deeply, so clean and refreshing.</p><p>"Sebastian" The rational part that remained in him told him that it was not convenient to open his mouth in this circumstance but his willpower had dropped considerably, does it matter? He finally said to himself.</p><p>"Yes, Bocchan?"</p><p>"What do you see to her?" He muttered annoyed, burying his face deeper into Sebastian's jacket.</p><p>"As you say?"</p><p>"Her" He wasn't sure if he understood what he was saying or if it made sense "What is beautiful about her?"</p><p>Sebastián did not answer, he just looked at him without understanding a word, Ciel concluded that he had to speak so that he does not become uncomfortable. Yes, that made sense.</p><p>"She ... she ... doesn't seem beautiful to me." Ciel declared.</p><p>He was upset, Sebastian did not admit it, he wanted to know what he found attractive in her. The pain also seeped into his senses, he did not understand what this new unfortunate sensation was. He had never heard Sebastian highlight a characteristic positive aspect of another person, Ciel was sure, Sebastian did not care about something so banal and superficial but still he could not help but feel restless.</p><p>"Do you ... do you think I'm beautiful?" Ciel asked impulsively and a crimson tone decorated his cheeks after realizing his nonsensical words, he would probably regret this later. He looked Sebastian in the eyes seriously as if demanding an affirmative answer but at the same time it will take Sebastian to lie to him.</p><p>"I believe it"</p><p>Ciel had held his breath until Sebastian answered, his heart filled with hope after hearing those words. He tried to calm his racing thoughts.</p><p>"More than her?" He had to ask to be sure.</p><p>The moon was scattering across the sky illuminating every expression on his face and Sebastian made no reply for a long time.</p><p>"Yes, more than her."</p><p>Ciel finally smirked at the answer. He couldn't show all the happiness on his face to Sebastian, he thought it was a good idea to hide his face in Sebastian's coat, he was also cold and Sebastian was always warm.</p><p>Even though it was the first time he was jealous, he felt foolish to be jealous of her, he was obviously much more special to Sebastian. They were more united and Sebastián knew each part of him.</p><p>And this was different from his dream. It was getting dark and although Sebastian wasn't hugging him, he wasn't pushing him away either. Ciel sighed, he was destined to die and Sebastian was going to abandon him as his hopes abandoned him but until then he could allow himself to sink into that fragile incomprehensible longing that clouded his senses and not feel bad about it.</p><p>He wanted Sebastián to take care of him and pamper him, just for today, tomorrow he would be the same again.</p><p><em>Yes, tomorrow I will be myself again</em>, he thought. Even if I knew he wanted it to be the same tomorrow and the next day.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again!</p><p>This time I played a bit with Sebastián and Ciel's thoughts, mainly from Ciel's point of view but the next chapter I would like to write about Sebastián, I think it would be interesting to know what he thinks about all this.</p><p>Thank you for reading! &lt;3</p>
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